Friday, June 19, 2009

My Culinary Conquests:)

STATUTORY WARNING:This post is not for the readers.It's just for me.I'm using MY blog as my personal space.So it might turn out to be boring.But read it if u must.It cannot be that bad!

My interest in cooking was destined to be short lived.
Too bad!!

In the stone ages, girls were expected to know a lot.Washing,housekeeping,taking care of the family and COOKING.

But when i decided to finally befriend my gas stove and microwave after years of giving them 'the silent treatment', it wasn't to follow the tradition, or to please my dad..I did it simply to help my mom.Also, a small part of me thought that I'd be a step closer to becoming a wonder woman I secretly aspire to be!!:P
Like the ones they show on T.V or the ones on the cover of India Today Woman.

Chic,successful,well spoken,well read,well travelled but with all the traditional traits:D

Now I had a very basic idea about the ART.
Switch on the gas.Put the pan.Heat the food.Serve.Eat.

That's it.

Oh yes,i can make omlettes,boiled eggs,tea and the good ol' Maggi.

But nothing proper!

So my first conquest was a pizza.Simple,easy to make and good to eat.
My first pizza was about a year ago.
Well..who on earth got it right the first time?


ofcourse i've mastered that area now.

next,not very long back, was a chocolate cake.
and ahoy!
what a find!

i was finally good at somethin..

i succesfully made a 'proper' malai kofta dish after that. And stuffed bhindi too!

Basking in the new found glory,I decided to make a mango sponge cake.

I had one of those at a friend's..Let's call her C. So at C's place,another friend..let's call her A,got a cake.
Now let's not be judgemental,but hell,A's done a full baking course.She ought to be good!!
Isn't it?
Her cake was pretty,soft,fresh and tasty.

Umm,I can do that too..

So i,very tactfully,asked her the recipe.
And the naive,humble creature that she is..she blurted out everything!!
Or did she??

Now it was my turn.

Clearly,I wanted to have my cake and eat it too.

I baked a sponge cake successfully.
Slit it.
Soaked it.
I sliced mangoes for the topping.

Now for the icing.

Sounds easy..right??


I whipped and stirred and beat.
In the end,I got something like a cross between malai and mayonnaise.
To top it all(pun intended), it was insufficient.

The cake looked ugly and smelled even worse.

My interest in becoming a ,as Dollar puts it, 'Cooker' is over.

As for now..

P.S: My mom liked the cake.I've planned to sneak it into her lunch box tomorrow.ALL OF IT.

Saturday, June 6, 2009

Happy Hours!! :D

Friends,Romans,countrymen; Lend me your ears(eyes).

This post brings forth the very sombre issue of a phenomena that has escaped the wrath of Mr. Pramod Muthalik uptil now, something that is not just a nuisance and a threat to the Indian Culture but also another example of unscruplous business practices adopted to entice the gullible-HAPPY HOURS! :D

No matter what the name suggests, I'm sure the only people who make use of these hours are either  thoroughly depressed or completely broke dipsomaniacs (or both). :P

I may sound harsh but so would you when you read the story of..ummm...lets say a friend of mine ;) and what happened to the poor soul during the Happy Hours(and the hours that followed)!

So here goes..

This girl,let's call her Tipsy (that's what she becomes by the end of it), plans to go out with a male friend..let's call him Dollar (For more than one reason) :D.
Now all's going great. They've had a great day at a gaming arena, won themselves some totally cool stuff (No kidding!) and are looking forward to a fun filled day.
Suddenly Dollar decides he's hungry.
No problem,thinks Tipsy.We shall eat to our heart's content.
But the mighty Dollar has plans.He spots a restaurant promising of Happy Hours.
1 free drink with every ordered one.Superb.

He thinks,we'll both order 2, get 2 free.
She'll have 1, I'll have 3!!
Alas, that was not to be! :P

The first round appears: a beer and a screwdriver(for the puerile souls, it's vodka with orange juice).
Dollar eyes his drink greedily,drools, slurps and drowns his drink in huge gulps.
Tipsy, on the other hand, takes small, cautious sips.
This is no different from Real fruit juice, she thinks.
I am not drunk.She lies.
I am O.K.
I just need some fresh air.

Dollar laughs.

She hates it.
To prove her point,she gulps down the other round of her drink.
Dollar frets.
Then becomes interested.
Then worried.

You are never getting drunk again, he declares.

Thanks for bringing me here,she thinks.:D

Ofcourse,she changes her mind when she snores through the movie that was to follow.
When she screws up her forks and knives.
When she gets stuck between doors.
When she laughs uncontrollably.
When she talks in whispers that can be heard easily by people on the next table.
And when she loses her appetite.

Only if they had settled for chinese instead!